So today I went to see Kick-Ass (or, as the movie marquee called it, “Kick A,” because we live in rural America and some words are just too terrifying for public consumption). I was the only person in the theater, which was mostly cool because I could yell at the screen if I needed to, but a little bit lonely during some of the tense bits.
I’d brought the first two volumes of Scott Pilgrim*, in case I got to the theater early, but thanks to a parade of slow drivers, red lights, bizarre situations that kind of looked vaguely criminal, and just about every other possible delay, I got there just before the lights went down.
* I’ve already read these, but I’m currently trying to make Alice into a Scott Pilgrim fan in time for the movie, so I got them out of the library for her, and I kinda wanna reread them before the movie comes out because they’re great. I mention this mostly because Scott Pilgrim is namechecked in the movie, which tickled me immensely.
There was a large crop of previews (I love the previews!):
- The Expendables, which looks completely over-the-top and ridiculous, but has freaking everybody in it — Sly Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Danny Trejo, Steve Austin, Jason Statham… It’s like a freakin’ testosterone extravaganza. Might be fun in a stupid kind of way.
- Grown Ups, which just looks stupid, but does have Salma Hayak and Steve Buscemi in it, so I might rent it sometime, in spite of the people who are actually starring.
- Iron Man 2, which I was planning on going to see, but which now I am eager to see because I found out it has Sam Rockwell in it. Now I’m wondering if I should rent the first one and let the kids see it and decide if they’re interested in seeing 2 with me.
- Prince of Persia: The Whatever of the Blahblah, which might be a fun summer movie with the kids in tow.
- The A-Team, about which I really have no opinion at all. I never watched the show as a kid. Anth watched it a lot, though. I wonder if he’d like to go see this with me. (Probably not.)
- Killers, which looks pretty fun, even though the leads generally annoy me. Honestly, I’m looking at this movie’s IMDb page and I can’t really think of a single reason why I’d want to go see it, but the trailer made it look relatively entertaining. Maybe worth a rental.
Anyway, Kick-Ass, right?. Reading this review-type-thingy (LANGUAGE ALERT!) on Cracked.com is what even put this movie on my radar. In particular, the line “It’s socially irresponsible, morally irredeemable and pretty goddamned glorious to behold.” That string of adjectives, in combination with each other, is basically catnip to me.
For me, the movie split pretty neatly into two sub-movies. The first half (and it clocks in at just under 120 minutes, so we’re talking about the first hour here) is all about this kid, this nerdy weedy high schooler, and we’re supposed to care about him and like him, and blah blah he has a crush on this girl and blah blah his life’s angsty in an average teen sort of way, and blah blah he wants to be a superhero, and blah blah blah. I did not care about this kid — I thought he was a twit, and kind of an idiot, and I basically never stopped rooting for him to die so I wouldn’t have to watch him do stupid crap any more. So that half of the movie was kind of tedious for me, and I did a lot of squirming and sighing and checking my watch.
The second half, though, is amazing balls-out in-your-face violence, beautiful and terrible in that John Woo sort of way. I totally cared about and liked the other leads, Hit Girl and Big Daddy. I liked them a lot, particularly the lethal 11-year-old Hit Girl. I’m sure the Mommy part of my brain would have something to say about the terrible things that Hit Girl says and does in this movie, but I shut that part of my brain off for the duration; the pre-teen girl part of my brain wants to be Hit Girl very, very much. Maybe too much. Anyway, that’s between me and my therapist. Moving on…
Anyway, yeah, sum total, I really enjoyed the movie. I didn’t notice Nic Cage overacting, but then my favorite Nic Cage movie is Vampire’s Kiss, so I’m probably not the best judge. The actress that played Hit Girl, Chloe Moretz, was amazing. Christopher Mintz-Plasse was great fun to watch. If they’d cut out maybe 20 minutes of the teenager kid’s story, I’d have called this movie just about perfect, for what it is (i.e. socially irresponsible, morally irredeemable and pretty goddamned glorious to behold).